The rabbit hole

sometimes i’ll tell myself and the world
i’ve finally moved forward

then i fall back into the rabbit hole
and wonder what happened

i know i was authentic in that singular moment…

as a fell, i wondered… was it a lie?

why do i keep falling backwards,
only to claw my way back up?

maybe these rabbit holes are life’s way
of making sure i’ve moved forward truly.

i notice each time i made it back up top,
the climb was a bit shorter, a bit easier

the air, the sun, the sky, the flowers i saw again
shone with more strength than last time
as if my new world was becoming
more real, more stronger.

so now each time
i declare and i fall

i fall a little freer,
a little lighter,
a little stronger

because soon all i will have left to fall into is my soul.