This early evening I walked a mile and came back to my dwelling feeling pretty much wiped out.
Walking a mile these days is usually cause for celebration after barely being able to get out of the house six months ago
Yet while I sat recuperating from the walk feeling a bit unsteady and unsure physically, I thought to myself, “I wish I was just in normal shape…”
I miss the days where I could walk dozens of miles along with barefoot jogs in the woods, biking on trails, and kayaking to my heart’s desire.
Folks with chronic illnesses (Lyme in my case) know what I speak of when we only have so many “spoons” to use each day, energy wise.
It’s been a first for me to deal with the devastating effects of Lyme disease — everything I did or tried to do to boost my health didn’t work — even when it used to work in the past. I couldn’t power through situations, tough it out, or adjust to things physically to make it better. In fact, my health often went backwards in total opposite to how it usually reacted in the past.
And doing simple things would exhaust me or crash my energy to where I’d be sequestered in the house for days or weeks. I couldn’t go outside for long because the Florida heat would cause toxins from the Lyme come out into my bloodstream and my energy would crash big time.
For awhile I couldn’t even meditate because it would make me dizzy.
It was a totally bizarre situation to be in — my body was stolen from me and I had no control over it at all. As if an alien took it over with bewildering effect. There’s no other way to describe such a strange phenomenon.
That’s a very scary thing to experience with decades of familiarity with one’s body thrown out the window.
One good thing out of all this for me is the stark realization how vital a healthy body is to be able to live well. We often abuse or ignore our bodies, expecting them to function as they always have as the years churn by. I’ve been quite guilty of this, slacking off on exercise and proper eating habits. Getting Lyme was a huge slap in the face.
I’d say I’m about halfway through recovering.. As my doctor put it, I’m finally climbing out of the deep hole I was in and am rebuilding my fragile body back to good health. I now have a goal to get in the best shape of my life I possibly can and and stay there.
Don’t take your body for granted, folks… It’s akin to taking your life for granted — without a stable body your whole world wobbles and it becomes a nightmare, believe me.
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