Your truth is within

I used to take everyone’s perceived truths of me as gospel. Then one day I realized the only gospel is within me.

-Ray

March 4, 2014

World going crazy

My world’s going crazy
messages are coming
fast and furious

Great blue heron
in middle of field
comes bearing a gift

It gets close,
turns into white wolf
and wants to bond

My world’s going crazy
messages are coming
transformation and transmution

A bobcat sees me on porch,
swims across the river
to put its head in my lap

My world’s going crazy
messages are coming
animal totems bonding

Deep in the woods on a trail,
a dragon undulates in air
towards me on both sides
and I can’t get away

My world’s going crazy
messages are coming
from the east and west

I’m in a drowning car
child and lady sit frozen
somehow I rescue them
out window into sea

My world’s going crazy
messages are coming
like a flood

Boat full of kids goes by,
adults arguing and it crashes
baby flies into water
I dive in, save it, and soulful eyes ask:
“Why are people like this?”

My world’s going crazy
messages are coming
elation and deep sorrow

And what now?
I still don’t understand
But they come,
one after the other

To save humanity?
To save myself?
To transform?

My world’s going crazy
I’m being pulled
and pushed hard

Spiritually,
emotionally,
and energetically

My world’s going crazy
God can’t you just tell me
what I need to know?

When in doubt

When in doubt, fall backwards into love.

-Ray

March 4, 2014

Via combusta

I hear filaments
of your whispers
in my inner ear

larger than life
they sing to me
without fail

False heavens crash within
into embers of death
shooting stars violently roar
sowing seeds of new life

In the place of no thing
I am told:
The lobster will die

And dreams foretell
of via combusta,
the burning way

Yet I dance to your eternal tune
as the sky burns
because to resist would be
to die the wrong way.

March 4, 2014

This "waking up" thing

During my long drive back home, I was thinking about this “waking up” thing.

When I talk about waking up, I don’t mean waking up into enlightenment, I mean waking up back into our authentic selves. Where we wake up from false lives, facades, or just not living up to our highest, truest potential of who we truly are.

It seems so many (including myself) wake up from illusion into turmoil, where it sometimes feels like you’ve burst out of your illusionary cocoon into a nightmare.

At the core, this waking up really isn’t a nightmare, it just seems so because of all the upheaval that ensues. This waking up is the beginning of rebirthing yourself, becoming reborn into your true, authentic self and life. As you birth into a new life all the old facades, foundations, and untruths crumble & fall away, sometimes violently like earthquakes through your life. Think about how our earth was born — much in the same way before it gave way to abundant life for all of us.

The crazy thing is a lot of it seems out of our control just as we’re asserting our authenticity. But it makes total sense — we’re co-creators of our universe(s) and everything we do sends energetic ripples out that reflect back. We’re essentially rebirthing our own universes inside a grand multiverse.

Just imagine it — the more forcefully we wake up and step into our true authentic selves, the more violently our universes are being re-created. This might explain why it’s difficult and everything seems to be backfiring on you. It’s why so many folks choose to stay asleep because it’s more comfortable and feels safer.

It’s frickin’ hard, but I believe it’s well worth it; imagine a life where you’ve truly, *finally* become your magnificent self, the way paved by tears you shed as bright stars cast into your brilliant, beautiful new universe.

March 4, 2014

The Rabbit Hole

sometimes i’ll tell myself and the world
i’ve finally moved forward

then i fall back into the rabbit hole
and wonder what happened

i know i was authentic in that singular moment…

as a fell, i wondered… was it a lie?

why do i keep falling backwards,
only to claw my way back up?

maybe these rabbit holes are life’s way
of making sure i’ve moved forward truly.

i notice each time i made it back up top,
the climb was a bit shorter, a bit easier

the air, the sun, the sky, the flowers i saw again
shone with more strength than last time
as if my new world was becoming
more real, more stronger.

so now each time
i declare and i fall

i fall a little freer,
a little lighter,
a little stronger

because soon all i will have left to fall into is my soul.

March 4, 2014

Short thoughts on love

Flames from my cabin’s fireplace

Often in this society
when we believe
someone loves us,

We’ll soon discover
they only love that
which we can give them.

In desperation
not to be alone,
love is service –
given and taken.

When they say
“I love you”
in service,
it is untruth,
a curse.

Real love can’t
be communicated,
nor in service.

Real love is an
unconditional life
between beloveds.

Real love is a
knowing between two,
as proof of that life.

Sometimes real love
feels like a curse,
but it is a growth of truth,
inwards and outwards.

Real love is a
singular, continuous
path taken together
to reunion with
All That Is.

Real love is
All That Is.

March 4, 2014

Past life forgiveness

I was deep in a meditation focused on healing. After awhile I suddenly dipped into a past life of mine.

I saw myself as a Muslim woman and I was being forced to do something I didn’t want to do. As the vision expanded, I realized I was being raped.

As was the custom back then, I was condemned to death for this.

Upon the realization of my death, I saw the face of my attacker. His face was disfigured in some way but all I saw was a lost soul.

In that awareness, I extended forgiveness and love to him.

Afterwards, I saw her again but this time everything about her was of higher vibration and luminescence, she radiated and was wearing a white robe of some kind. It was apparent I was seeing her in her afterlife.

She was weeping, but they were tears of release and gratitude for that simple act of forgiveness and love given across time and space that healed not only our attacker, but also ourselves — her and I, the one and the same.

There is always a part of ourselves that seeks to forgive. Let it. Forgiveness contains such a subtle, yet deep energy that ripples out in far reaching ways that we can’t even comprehend.

March 4, 2014

Subtle void

The other day I realized I hadn’t been meditating as much lately. I’ve gotten so caught up in the detritus of life and I can tell the difference. It’s amazing how the simple act of meditating on a consistent basis can shift your life for the better.

When you stop or let it fall off quite a bit, after awhile you’ll notice a subtle void that wasn’t there before.

The intangible becomes tangibly missing.

Fall backwards

Sometimes I need to remember to fall backwards out of my mind into my soul.

-Ray