Broken butterfly

On a hike this evening, I came across a broken butterfly. It had beautiful black wings with blue hues and tipped whites. A piece of its wing was missing, so it was only able to fly in circles.

I happened to look down at the right moment before I was about to cut off trail to go my own way and there it was on the ground, struggling.

I gently picked it up and cupped my palms around it to try and calm it down as it started to flutter madly. I held it with me as I walked some more while surrounding it with peaceful healing energy from my hands.

It had calmed down after awhile and I found a good, safe spot with large leaves to set it down upon. I unfolded my hand and it rested, slowly flexing its wings. We both just stood there for awhile, watching one another. I lowered it onto a leaf and it hopped off and fluttered onto my shirt. I smiled and let it sit there for another minute and then lowered her back to the leaf because I knew she might fall off me while I was walking the trails and get stepped upon. This time she crawled onto the leaf and stayed. I bade it farewell.

Walking away, I turned to look at her and she was still there, still slowly flexing her wings open and shut. As I turned back to the trail and moved on, I knew she wasn’t going to make it. This sadness flooded into me and my eyes welled up. I was surprised to feel this way, so suddenly and so deeply. But it also felt like I had briefly tapped into a universal sadness because it felt everywhere.

I looked up high up into the trees and called out to nature to protect and guide my little friend and gave my thanks.

Later I realized I was saying a prayer for all the broken butterflies and broken souls in our world because we are all inexorably connected in a common bond of love. We are never separate, even when we feel that way.

A butterfly at the Tuscawilla preserve near Micanopy, Florida
A butterfly at the Tuscawilla preserve near Micanopy, Florida

Past life forgiveness

Photo courtesy of and copyrighted by Rifqi Dahlgren
(Photo courtesy of and copyrighted by Rifqi Dahlgren)

I was deep in a meditation focused on healing. After awhile I suddenly dipped into a past life of mine.

I saw myself as a Muslim woman and I was being forced to do something I didn’t want to do. As the vision expanded, I realized I was being raped.

As was the custom back then, I was condemned to death for this.

Upon the realization of my death, I saw the face of my attacker. His face was disfigured in some way but all I saw was a lost soul.

In that awareness, I extended forgiveness and love to him.

Afterwards, I saw her again but this time everything about her was of higher vibration and luminescence, she radiated and was wearing a white robe of some kind. It was apparent I was seeing her in her afterlife.

She was weeping, but they were tears of release and gratitude for that simple act of forgiveness and love given across time and space that healed not only our attacker, but also ourselves — her and I, the one and the same.

There is always a part of ourselves that seeks to forgive. Let it. Forgiveness contains such a subtle, yet deep energy that ripples out in far reaching ways that we can’t even comprehend.

This “waking up” thing

During my long drive back home, I was thinking about this “waking up” thing.

When I talk about waking up, I don’t mean waking up into enlightenment, I mean waking up back into our authentic selves. Where we wake up from false lives, facades, or just not living up to our highest, truest potential of who we truly are.

It seems so many (including myself) wake up from illusion into turmoil, where it sometimes feels like you’ve burst out of your illusionary cocoon into a nightmare.

At the core, this waking up really isn’t a nightmare, it just seems so because of all the upheaval that ensues. This waking up is the beginning of rebirthing yourself, becoming reborn into your true, authentic self and life. As you birth into a new life all the old facades, foundations, and untruths crumble & fall away, sometimes violently like earthquakes through your life. Think about how our earth was born — much in the same way before it gave way to abundant life for all of us.

The crazy thing is a lot of it seems out of our control just as we’re asserting our authenticity. But it makes total sense — we’re co-creators of our universe(s) and everything we do sends energetic ripples out that reflect back. We’re essentially rebirthing our own universes inside a grand multiverse.

Just imagine it — the more forcefully we wake up and step into our true authentic selves, the more violently our universes are being re-created. This might explain why it’s difficult and everything seems to be backfiring on you. It’s why so many folks choose to stay asleep because it’s more comfortable and feels safer.

It’s frickin’ hard, but I believe it’s well worth it; imagine a life where you’ve truly, *finally* become your magnificent self, the way paved by tears you shed as bright stars cast into your brilliant, beautiful new universe.


Short thoughts on love

Flames from my cabin's fireplace
Flames from my cabin’s fireplace © Raymond Hines

Often in this society
when we believe
someone loves us,

We’ll soon discover
they only love that
which we can give them.

In desperation
not to be alone,
love is service —
given and taken.

When they say
“I love you”
in service,
it is untruth,
a curse.

Real love can’t
be communicated,
nor in service.

Real love is an
unconditional life
between beloveds.

Real love is a
knowing between two,
as proof of that life.

Sometimes real love
feels like a curse,
but it is a growth of truth,
inwards and outwards.

Real love is a
singular, continuous
path taken together
to reunion with
All That Is.

Real love *is*
All That Is.

Subtle void

The other day I realized I hadn’t been meditating as much lately. I’ve gotten so caught up in the detritus of life and I can tell the difference. It’s amazing how the simple act of meditating on a consistent basis can shift your life for the better.

When you stop or let it fall off quite a bit, after awhile you’ll notice a subtle void that wasn’t there before.

The intangible becomes tangibly missing.


You are nature, too.

Blue Heron in tree over the Suwannee river near Bell, Florida

I often see animals and other kinds of life while out in nature. It happens frequently enough that it’s become a communion of sorts with my friends out there.

When I see them, I feel this sense of quietness and acceptance beneath their skin, an “okay-ness” with their world as it is.

I always want to get to know them better. That’s nothing new, mankind always has by way of capturing them, inspecting them in laboratories or putting them in zoos, etc. to observe them, and so on.

But it’s not real, nor as authentic. You cannot really “know” these beings in that way. They’re creations of God, our Universe. To really know them is to embrace them in their true essence, as God intended them to be… As pure and free spirits, in an environment that’s home.

To really know these creatures is to quietly melt yourself into their environ, open all your senses and especially your heart. This is how you “listen” and feel them, to sink into who they are, that quiet embrace that turns into an intimate connection in and of nature.

That’s when you start to feel the magic, the oneness, where you realize that you, too, are an animal, a creation of nature just as much as they are and you have a common bond with them.


No man’s land

Have you ever pondered ownership of land on earth? While it is a solid concept in practice, if you step back and look at it from a universal perspective, it seems arbitrary, perhaps even silly.

It just seems odd when see it from that non-human perspective — you have people claiming to own a piece of earth when it’s really not ours to begin with in the grand scheme of nature.

If you try and trace back ownership of a plot of land all the way back to the first/original “owner” you’ll find no provenance beyond that. Just that one day a person roped off an area and decided it was theirs to own, sell, or give. In other words, there’s no original authority at the end of the chain, so it’s almost like the entire concept of property ownership is a house of cards.

In an example of irony, the native american indians understood this, they felt as stewards of the land, not owners. And yet the the first “explorers” of the land they lived on took it from them and said it was theirs. You could say these caretakers were robbed.

In reality, all this land we live on was never owned by anyone, nor did it belong to anyone.

Sunset on the Suwannee river near Bell, Florida
Sunset on the Suwannee river near Bell, Florida